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John Holmes’ dick bore a striking resemblance to Alfred E. Newman back then. Funny story. Bill in WV says. October 29, 2012 at 11:37 am. As a youth, John was the envy of all his friends. You see, John had an indestructable whiffle ball bat at his disposal, whereas the other kids had to actually buy theirs at the five and dime store. It was a Directed by Julia St. Vincent. With John Holmes, Seka, Jesie St. James, Annette Haven. A documentary about John C. Holmes, who was the biggest star in the adult film industry in more ways than one.